Being from a middle class family, I was always afraid of Judgement.
It was seeded in my being since very childhood that every thing that I do is being seen and my every action is being judged. I was told that I would be criticized for every time that I go wrong.
I was told not to be wrong.
It was not enforced on me about the praises for good as much as insults for wrong.
So my living was a constant fight between what I wanted to do verses how I was judged for it.
This created a constant pressure on me. And I hesitated in doing what I wanted to do.
Even if I was a good singer I hesitated to upload my music videos on youtube thinking what if I received criticism for that. This constant fear of being judged made me doubt myself and I stepped back from being myself and doing what naturally came to my personality.
I was a carefree and a confident child. But now I really missed that little me who was so brazen to act as she liked and to display the treasures of talent she had, and not to care of what others thought of her. She was living freely, she was breathing freely just because she didn't give a damn to what people thought of her. And so she was her so confident and loving herself with all her flaws and showcasing her self to the world as she was...
It was seeded in my being since very childhood that every thing that I do is being seen and my every action is being judged. I was told that I would be criticized for every time that I go wrong.
I was told not to be wrong.
It was not enforced on me about the praises for good as much as insults for wrong.
So my living was a constant fight between what I wanted to do verses how I was judged for it.
This created a constant pressure on me. And I hesitated in doing what I wanted to do.
Even if I was a good singer I hesitated to upload my music videos on youtube thinking what if I received criticism for that. This constant fear of being judged made me doubt myself and I stepped back from being myself and doing what naturally came to my personality.
I was a carefree and a confident child. But now I really missed that little me who was so brazen to act as she liked and to display the treasures of talent she had, and not to care of what others thought of her. She was living freely, she was breathing freely just because she didn't give a damn to what people thought of her. And so she was her so confident and loving herself with all her flaws and showcasing her self to the world as she was...
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